This Shadow of This Death

In my Creative Writing class, I had to write a poem. It could be about anything and in any style. I decided to write about freshman year, and the feelings I felt after Micah passed away. For those who don't know, I lost two friends last year, one to an unexpected case of Leukemia, and the other in a car accident. This isn't the best poem ever, but I decided I would share it anyways. The style is free verse.

This Shadow of This Death

Six months past.

Wounds inside of

Anger, confusion, hurt, sadness

Begin to heal with fresh pink scars.

Coffee dates with friends.                                                                               

“He is bigger than

Anger, or confusion, or hurt, or sadness.

Bigger than my situation of life.”

The phone rings just like last time.

Lying in my bunk and feeling surprised,                                                        

The painful sting hits like a bullet.                                                                

Surprised by grief.

 “Have you heard about Micah? Dead.”
The words come in one swift motion.
“Micah?” The question runs through
My mind trying to understand the words.                                                    

The awful word that doesn’t seem to connect.

The meaning doesn’t seem to resonate.
“Are you sure?” The most desperate
Question that has ever been asked.                                                                 

Another night of tears,
Alone in the empty practice shacks.

Another feeling of anger, confusion, hurt, complete sadness

Another trip home to mourn

Where we must kneel before a box of emptiness
And write goodbyes in bright colored pens upon another casket.
“Give Meg a hug for me.”
“See you soon.”

“God is good."
Empty words written in pen upon this empty box
As tears come and heart aches.
“God is good?”

Feelings against the One able to stop it
The One able to hold back this valley of
Anger, confusion, hurt, and bitter sadness
Of the shadow of this death.

“Why?”
Wounds open, hearts bleed once more
Questions left unanswered
Accusations fly at the One responsible                                                          

“Wasn’t He able?
To heal the sickness?
To stop the car?
To mend this broken heart?"

Six months past.
Fade away into His light all the
Anger, confusion, hurt, beautiful sadness.
He is able over death.

©AndreaMansfield2013