Amazing Love

Ever feel like you're a total failure.

I know I do.

Every time I feel like I've got it figured out, I'm reminded once again as my face hits the floor that I don't have it all together.

If I were being completely honest, which is my intention in this blog, I fail... a lot. I've been struggling a lot with having positive thoughts this year - loving people and focusing on "whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure..." I feel like I'm constantly repenting and committing to not let it happen again.

And then it does.

This past week, I've been really discouraged. I know what the right thing is, but sometimes that little wire that connects your head to your heart shorts out.

Today it dawned on me. This whole time I've been trying to handle everything on my own. I didn't really asked for Christ's help unless I was asking for His forgiveness. Which is the complete WRONG way to go about fighting the devil. We should be praying for His help in the midst of temptation...

Then I started struggling with guilt. We've all been there. I was reading in Romans 6-8, though, and my view on guilt changed. Yes, we need to be repentant of our sins. But it is wrong to feel like Christ can't forgive our sins.

There is nothing special about us. 

We are saved sinners.

He died on that awful cross for all our sins...

Past
Present
and

Future


Even Paul said, "14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. ¹⁵ For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. ¹⁶ Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. ¹⁷ So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. ¹⁸ For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. ²¹ So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. ²² For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, ²³ but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. ²⁴ Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from 

this body of death?"

This seems discouraging, but the last verse gives hope!                       

^"25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin."

Chapter 8 goes on...

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.^[a] 2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you^[b]free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. ³ For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin,^[c]he condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit."

Let that verse sink in. No condemnation in Christ. 

He is able to forgive and doesn't want us to live as slaves to sin. He paid a price so great for us to become slaves to righteousness. He loves us. Amazing Love.

A Trickle from Life's Frozen Pipes

Monday mornings. Gotta love em.

After having a weekend of no classes for two days, sleeping in, and just relaxing...

Monday morning hits like a load of bricks rolling off a dump truck.

"What would make it better?" you may ask.

Well.... apparently my university thinks that having three dorms of girls completely void of water would make it better.

Happy Monday to Me.

My initial reaction, "AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR DATT!"

I was, ashamed to say, very upset. Thankfully, my friend Anna's dorm had water so I was able to get ready in her room...

As the day went on, the joke was passed around campus about the girls having no water. Some girls were laughing it off, while others were clearly upset. I fell more in the first category, even though a small part of me was upset too.

However, when it I got to chapel, my attitude on the situation began to change... a lot. Our president spoke from Psalm 103 and the theme of his message was, "Behold Your God." Most of the message was dealing with the awesomeness and powerfulness of our God, but my mind could not get away with verse 15-19.

As for man, his days are like grass;
    he flourishes like a flower of the field;
¹⁶ for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
    and its place knows it no more.
¹⁷ But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
    and his righteousness to children's children,
¹⁸ to those who keep his covenant
    and remember to do his commandments.
¹⁹ The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
    and his kingdom rules over all.

And while I admit, this passage does not specifically deal with our response to water shortages, I could not help but focus on the part, "for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more."

We are, as this passage says, like grass. Or in other passages, our lives are compared to vapors. One moment here, the next, gone. 

And then I began to think, in 10 years time will we really remember that, on Monday Febuary 18th 2013, we had frozen pipes and no water. Silly thought, I know. But seriously, how often do we complain about things that don't matter. Really... 1st world problems. 

I got to thinking about my extension on Friday nights. This past Friday, we had an open house night for the Bible club. Parents were supposed to come and see what the club is all about. This Bible club is in a rough part of town - most of the children come from broken homes and many of them are the only ones from their family attending church. I was, to be honest, not expecting any parents to show up. A few parents did, however, and overall it was a great experience. 

Although, one father came and was either drunk or high. The girls had practiced songs to sing for their parents and he was carrying on - disturbing the songs and activities. We were able to handle him fine, but his daughter was so embarrassed.  

Another girl's mom had promised to come but never showed up. When the bus dropped her off afterwards she told me, "Oh, my brother's car is blocking her in. That's why she couldn't come." My heart sunk and I assured her that she was right. 

This little girl below named Betsy made a Valentine. When her mom never showed up she wanted to give it to me. I told her that she could make another one for me later and that she should give this one to her mom.

After I thought about all this, the frozen pipes seemed so insignificant. How many times do we, as Christians, get upset about things that don't matter. Yeah, they might be frustrating but are they really gonna matter in eternity? Prob not.

Most of these kids will never have a Christian influence outside of Bible club. They come from homes that either don't care or don't know about Christ and His love. 

Walking to another dorm for a shower is really not that big a deal when you think about kids that don't even have water to drink, let alone shower in. 

We have been so blessed by God. He has given use loving homes and a hope to share with others... Don't let the frozen pipes of life freeze your heart. 

Coffee Dates, Mexican Food, and Shady Allies

Sooo... I know it's been a while since I've posted. You've probably made your own assumption that this blog, like a lot of things in my life, is just another thing that I won't keep up with...

However, this is not the case. To put it simply, I have been dying to post, but this week has been super busy with tests and papers. I told myself that once I get all my big things taken care of that I can post a blog update.

You may say, "Talking to yourself? Really?"

Yes. Really. It is a proven fact that if you talk to yourself, you are a genius. And while I wouldn't exactly use the word "genius" in my case, this statement makes me feel better about my weird conversations.

Now back to the blog...

Today is February 14th, or more commonly known as "Valentine's Day," and to the hopelessly depressed single individuals, "Singleness Awareness Day."

This year, I did not celebrate either of those days! I celebrated "Go Out With Your Girlfriends and Make Crazy Memories" Day! It was awesome to say the least.

The awesomeness began at 7am in the crazy morning when I deliriously decided to go to breakfast with my friends Anna and Abbie. It was a very silent, yummy breakfast, since no one should ever speak before 9am in the, yet again, crazy morning.

After my 8am class, my friend Becca and I had to observe at the Academy for a class (not before stopping to get a "buy one get one free" coffee at Cuppa Jones). Nothing says Happy "Go Out With Your Girlfriends and Make Crazy Memories" Day better than a hot Vanilla Latte! Becca is a great friend and I love her! Who ever thought a DP major and an Ed major would get along so well ;)

After yet another observation, classes, and a lovely nap, the real fun began :)

Instead of being like the typical single population of this campus and pouting about what sadness their lives posses, Kirsten, Kaitlin, Joy, Elle, Nicole, and I made a date of our own!

First stop was Papa's and Beer... Yes, I do realize this sounds sketch, but trust me, no alcohol or boys were involved. Just some really good food and friends! I mean good!

Reason #3423 not to date a boy on Valentine's Day: you can eat all the food you want and not feel guilty.

That's what I kept telling people all day:

"Guess what I got for Valentine's Day?

"What?" they'd ask.
...

"Fat. I got fat."

(insert uncontrollable laughing here)

After dinner we drove downtown (which is beautiful) and stopped at OCHA for some bubble tea. There, we encountered a sketchy hallway where they kept the bathrooms and a book about Mullets, which was rather fascinating. Nicole may or may not have chased me down the street, Kirsten may or may not have spewed bubble tea on everyone... And...Elle and I finally got over our problems initiating hugs!!

All around, it was a GREAT night! I love my friends and am so blessed that God put them in my life.

He's my true Valentine.

He has blessed me beyond measure and I owe him everything.

So, whether you celebrated "Valentine's Day" or not, I hope you too had a great day and told at least one person how much you love them! <3

Coffee, Homework, and Friends

Every day. Should be Saturday. 

I believe God created the weekend especially for the college student. After a long week of test, papers, and quizzes, you need one day to rest and recuperate - or in my case, prepare/study for yet another week of torture. 

Buttt... studying is often made happy by adding a couple of Christian friends and good coffee (<3 Starbucks). 

That is one thing I am extremely thankful for by attending a Christian college - good Christian girls who will give you chocolate and hugs when you're down but also give you a good smack in the face when you need it (which is more often than not). 

I'm thankful for these two girls. I have known them both since freshman year but I've gotten to know them even more this year. Girls like these are hard to find. You know, like the kind of girls that are real... they know what it's like to go through hard times and they're not afraid to be open about it. Girls who just simply love Jesus. <3

Excited to go to the campus wide prayer and praise service tonight! 

Hopelessly Flawed, 

Andrea Kay

Start of Something New

Yes. I started a blog. This is something I've always wanted to do. In fact, I actually started one a couple of times. Once, when I was a freshman in high school, I tried to write a blog about being a socialized homeschooler... Yeah... we recently removed all traces of that from the internet. My exciting aspirations were not that exciting to the general public.

The problem with writing a blog always boils down to the fact that I have nothing really to write the blog about...

My life is not that exciting.

No one cares about my love life (or lack of it). 

And I don't live in an exotic city.

Then it recently dawned on me... I do have something worth documenting and sharing with the world...

My faith in Christ. 

He is everything. 

Now granted, there was a time in my life when I couldn't say that. Yes, He was a part of my life... but as far as my main goal, no. I was so concerned with the petty things of life - friends, schools, boys, and you can add the rest of what would be on the list of a typical female concerned with the world. I lost my focus. I couldn't understand though, that after all the stuff I was filling my life with, why I was so unhappy most of the time.

The last couple years, I have really learned what it means to have a relationship with Christ. You can go to church for your whole life, memorize verses like a beast, and even witness to everyone you come into contact with, but if you don't know Christ - what's the point? That's like campaigning for the greatest politician, knowing what he stands for, and reading every book written about him - but never actually meeting him. 

I promise this won't be too "preachy." I hope you read what I post and then make your own Biblically based conviction about it. I really just want to share what has happened in my own life - the transformation I have experienced by Christ's love. I hope that you will join me on this journey, and that your life is blessed in some way. 

Hopelessly Flawed, 

Andrea Kay